The Irrestibility Potion
by Lightbulbs make good pets
Summary: Sirius is bored of James moping over Lily and convinces Remus to make an irresistibility potion so Lily finally might like him...what happens if the potion is spilt? For a pouting, excitable Sirius, over-dramatic James and a sharp elbowed Remus, click...
1. Boredom bares an idea

hapter one- Boredom bears an idea.

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'I have an idea, Moony,' Sirius whispered in Remus's ear as he leaned across his armchair in the common room.  He motioned across the room at a 16 year old James who was watching Lily Evans doing her homework with obvious yearning.  

'Do you want me to help me with your Transfiguration?' he offered quickly as he observed her chewing the end of her pencil thoughtfully, her brow creased.  

Lily sent him a scowl and replied scathingly, 'I think I can just about manage, thanks Potter.'

'You're so pretty when you're angry.  Go out with me, Evans?'

She ignored him and started again trying to figure the hard homework the young yet strict professor had set earlier that day.

Sirius gave Remus a look.  'Don't tell me this whole pining for Lily thing James has been carrying on hasn't been getting kind of repetitive?'

Remus started to object in protest for his friend, 'It's sweet…'  He faltered and nodded with a wry smile.  'It is getting quite old…what was your idea?  And be mindful, I do remember that every single one of your idea's gets us in trouble in some way!'

Sirius put on a look of complete innocence and throwing his hands to his chest, 'ME?  No…couldn't be!  But Moony- this idea is fantastic.  Pure genius!' 

When Remus threw him a look of utter disbelieving, he hurriedly pushed the book that he had been reading the moment before and pointed out a spell.

Remus started to read the smaller script down next to the list of ingredients.  

_Tired of being unnoticed by the apple of your eye?_

_Bored of having her reject your sincere proclamations of love?_

_Well look no further!_

_By following the easy step by step guidelines on this page, you can compost your very own irresistibility Potion for that girl you've always had your eye on.  _

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius, whose own eyes sparkled in anticipation.  

'And I thought you were studying!  Where on earth did you find this book anyway?' he asked incredulously.  

'Oh it fell out of Peter's bag last night and thought I would check it over.  He wouldn't be able to make any of these potions without our help- they're much more difficult than the book makes out.'

Remus scanned down the list of required ingredients:   _three petals from a single passion flower…a dragon's heartstring…a hair from the head of the woman who you want the potion to work upon…_

_'_How are we going to get all of these from, Padfoot?

'Well that last one is easy,' Sirius answered and strolled nonchalantly to where Lily was leaning over her work.  She didn't seem to have noticed and he carefully plucked one of her fiery red hairs from her head and ran back to his seat next to Remus.

Lily had jumped up at the painful twinge on her head and glared accusingly round at all the Gryffindor's in nearest proximity to her.

This of course being Remus, Sirius and James.  

'Potter!' she shrieked.  'Why can't you just leave me alone you idiotic flobberworm?'

With this said she stormed out of the common room and off up into her dormitory. 

James was left open mouthed and rounded on Sirius with a look of exhaustion.

'You do know that I can disgust her and make her hate me all by myself.  Though I appreciate the help.' He added and sighed.  Her began to stare off out of the window again clearly day-dreaming about Lily again.

'Ok Moony, you are helping me whether you want to or not- I cannot sanely put up with this 'lover's-sighing' business ANY LONGER!'  Sirius whispered and grabbed Remus's arm, pulling him into a standing position, the book tucked under his other arm.

As the two marauders made their way to the portrait hole, James looked up absently and asked, 'Where you going?'

'We're going to raid the potion's cupboard to make an irresistibility potion for you,' Sirius announced quickly and pulled Remus out of the portrait hole with him.

'Mmmm,' said James, already reassumed his day dreaming about Lily and not in the slightest paying any attention to Sirius's reply.  'Have fun.'

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So what do you think????  There are a few more chapters left and it WILL be completed- you have my honourable promise there!

This is my first ever published fic so pleeeeease review__


	2. The Potion's Cupboard

Chapter 2- The Potion's Cupboard

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Remus was practically being dragged behind Sirius as he excitedly led the werewolf out of the portrait hole and away from the safety of Gryffindor tower.

He checked his watch quickly.  It was eight o'clock, an hour until they had to be back inside their common rooms.  He looked guiltily down at his prefect badge and then hastily pocketed it.  No good about worrying about that now...he was on one of Sirius's missions- he was doomed in some way or another.

'Let go of my arm,' Remus instructed, rubbing the sore part on it where Sirius had held tightly.  'Why are you in such a hurry anyways?'

Sirius held out the spell book open on the page for the potion and pointed at a stage in the instructions.

'We have to leave it over night to let all the ingredients calm and mix with one another,' he informed Remus somewhat knowledgeably.  'Else it will have _adverse effects_.'  He chuckled, imagining what these "adverse effects" could be little did he know that he would be experiencing them himself by tomorrow.

The two young men snaked their way down the main staircase then bypassed the huge doors to the main hall and made their way quietly into the dungeon hallways.  

Although they were still within their rights to be wandering the corridors at that time, Remus stayed warily silent.  Sirius did also but a few paintings greeted them on their way down to the potions office.  

'Ah…Black!  Still remember that great prank you played on that Malfoy while he was still here- excellent show, young man!  A real corker!' enthused a wizened old wizard chortling from his frame and winking at both of them.

  Sirius grinned to himself as they continued along the dank, thinning corridor.  'I remember that one…' he mused.  'The look on that stupid git's face…'  He was cut off at this point when Remus elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

'Wha…' he continued but quickly cut himself short as he also heard voices at the end of the corridor.  Then they both saw two shadows, elongated by the flickering light from the torches set in brackets upon the dark, stone walls.

'Yes, yes Professor.'  The slimy, simpering voice of a Slytherin well known to both Sirius and Remus answered the Potion's master.  'Of course, I am honoured to be appointed with a job filled with such responsibility as this.  I will be down tomorrow after classes to help you sort out the potion's cupboard.'

The two marauders heard the sweeping sound of robes as Snape turned his back on the Professor and slunk back to his common room.  Sirius narrowed his eyes at the receding back and made a sound in disgust.

'He'll have left slime all over the door handle now,' he complained to Remus who dutifully slammed his elbow further into his ribs.  They both watched the professor tiredly wave his wand over the door of his office and drag himself off to his chambers.  

'Not the usual precautions I see,' Remus's eyes twinkled. 'That should be easy enough.'  He shook his head.  'I have obviously been spending too much time with you or I wouldn't be enjoying breaking the rules for no good reason so much.'

'Comes with experience, my dear werewolf!' Sirius replied heartily and jumped up from where they had been crouching and examined the door to the potion's cupboard.  After a few minutes he exclaimed, 'It's just a simple ward spell.'

He waved his wand and uttered a spell under his breath and then Remus muttered _alohamora and they both head the familiar sound of a lock clicking inside the heavily latticed door frame.  _

The storeroom itself was a mine.  Unordered and haphazardly placed, row upon row of vials and things pickled in unearthly coloured bottles were packed together on spindly shelves.  

Sirius reached out his hand towards what looked like a dragon's eye.

'Don't touch _anything_,' Remus instructed without turning around.

'Wha?  I wasn't…how did you…?' Sirius marveled at Remus.  He narrowed his eyes suddenly and asked, 'Well how are we supposed to get the ingredient's we need, duh!'

Remus sighed dramatically.  'For someone as intelligent as you are, you seem to survive most of the time by only using a quarter of your brain.  I will collect the ingredients, you just read out what we need.'

'Okay, okay,' Sirius replied grumpily.

* * * * * * * * *

After collecting the ingredients on the list, and a few others in Sirius's case, the two young men quietly made their way up and beyond the dungeon's and then up the main staircase.  

'That was fairly painless,' Remus commented.

'Well, Remus Lupin- who are you to condemn my plan-making genius skills!'

'Well I don't know about your 'plan-making genius skills' but certainly your grammar…'

This conversation led them both to the portrait hole to Gryffindor tower and Sirius uttered the password, _purple haze_, and the fat lady swung open.

'Now all we need is to leave it overnight and add the hair…Prongs!' he exclaimed as James stood before them just inside the common room.  'What _are _you doing here?'

'Erm…it's the common room Padfoot,' James answered, looking at his two very guilty looking friends.  'What hair?'

Remus and Sirius looked at each other desperately.

'Padfoot wants to get hair…' Remus started.

'Extensions!'  I want to get hair extensions!'

James looked confusedly between them.  'But your hair is already long.'

'He has a point there,' said Remus unhelpfully.

'Yeah well, you're idea was hardly much better,' Sirius hissed back.  'Why would I want to have hair?'

James merely shook his head, used to strange behavior from Sirius at least.  'I'm going to bed.  Tell Peter when he gets back not to even attempt the Potions' homework- it's impossible.'

At this exact point, maybe due to coincidence or a truly malicious twist of fate, Peter burst through the portrait hole.  Crashing into all three of them as they stood next to the entrance, the vial that Remus had been holding all of the ingredients and the unfinished potion inside flew out of his hands.  

Both Remus and Sirius winced as it came down between the three of them and the contents burst over their bare arms.  However none landed on Peter's bare flesh as he was still wearing his thick outdoor robes that covered his arms.  

'What is this stuff?' James asked as he shook it off his arms and tried to wipe it away with the corner of Sirius's robes.  

'Hair gel,' Remus answered quickly.

'What??' Sirius snapped incredulously.

'Just thought it was in keeping with the theme,' Remus mumbled back.

'Look I'm going to bed,' James sighed tiredly and made his way back over to the stairway to the boy's dormitory.  Peter followed him quickly, knowing better than to hang around and witness Sirius's wrath.  

'It won't have worked, will it?  I mean, we haven't left it over night or added Lily's hair.'

'No, it'll be fine,' replied Sirius with more conviction than he felt.  'But hair gel, I ask you?'   

Review please and I'll write more!!!  That was my basically pure Remus and Sirius chapter but there will be a lot more of James in the next few chapters (but not much of the rat- couldn't let him share the fun).  

Look out for Snape's role soon.  


	3. Hogsmeade

Thanks for reviewing everyone :D !!  Prowling Wolf, I realised that I hadn't really included that bit about halfway through writing the second chapter but because I was just playing with this particular fic I didn't go back and change.  Ok, ok I'm lazy but hopefully this chapter will make up for my unforgivable laziness.  Yikes!

Chapter 3- Hogsmeade

Slivers of paled winter sunlight slid in through the gap in the heavy velvet curtains in the fifth year boy's dormitory.  It was eleven o'clock on the Saturday of the first Hogsmeade weekend of that year and the boy's were still not awake.  

James rolled over and a slab of light lay over his eyes.  Blinking awake he looked at his watch.  James squinted and put on his glasses.  He threw a pillow over to the nearest bed which was Sirius's, croaking, 

'Oi, wake up.  It's bloody eleven o'clock already!'  

Sirius rolled over with a groan but couldn't ignore the startling light as James drew the curtains on them and it streamed in.

Remus and Peter both sat up in their beds and yawned widely.  As soon as they were all dressed, so be it grumpily, they made their way down to the kitchen's having missed breakfast.  The house elves dutifully ran, almost tripping over each other, to serve the young masters but James couldn't help notice the female house elves odd behavior.  

One started to sway as he looked at her and when he asked her if she was feeling okay, she fainted right there and then.  Two very embarrassed other house elves came and quickly dragged her away.  

He looked to the others to see if they had noticed but they were still bleary eyed from their sleep in.  He shrugged and accepted the toast and jam that was presented to him and let himself be led out by a swathe of bowing house elves.

They four marauders trudged up away from the warmth of the kitchens and through the light and open corridors towards the main doors.  They roughly pulled their winter cloaks about them, the hoods lined with silver fur and opened one fo the great doors.  A breath of iciness flew in and they each peered out into the cold Scottish morning.  

Well, afternoon by now really.  After getting changed and making their way down to the kitchen's to get breakfast, it was now nearly twelve.  Because of this, they had nearly encountered no one on their way downstairs apart from a few second year boys and one very lost-looking cat.  

They made the trek down the long driveway of the castle, that at the beginning of each year, the threstrals tugged carriages down and made their way down the well stomped track towards Hogsmeade.

Arriving at the upper end of the high street of Hogsmeade, Sirius turned to the others with a wry smile.

'Anyone want to join me in paying a visit to our _dear_ friend, Mrs Doobledwight in Magical Menagerie?  

James and Peter chuckled.  'I don't think she would call us her friends…though she did once call us the bane of our existence.  Not quite the same...' James joked.  'You know I heard that Magical Menagerie is moving to Diagon Alley.'

Mrs Doobledwight was the owner of Magical Menagerie, a frumpy sullen old woman who seemed to despise children as much as she did her animals.  This had always been a source of much confusion to all the Hogwarts students.

But what she hated above all was people touching her pets before they bought them.  She would screech and sometimes swear much to the horror of some of the younger years.  This of course led to a lot of baiting by the marauders, led by Sirius and James.  Even Remus couldn't find enough sympathy to stick up for the old witch.

Upon entering the low-roofed shop, the young men were bowled over as what they recognized as two first years, surrying out of the shop chased by the mad old woman waving her stick threateningly and shouting,

'And don't come back you thieving young warts…ugly, speckled wretches!' she screamed.

'Now, now Mrs Doobledwight,' Sirius leered calmly.  'Let's not get hasty to point _accusations_, now.'

But the self-satisfied expression that he was wearing whilst speaking these words seemed to melt from his face and there transformed a look of uncontained fear.  

Mrs Doobledwight had dropped the stick she had just been waving dangerously close to their heads and it clattered emptily on the stone plated floor.  She had a look of carnal hunger in her eyes as she sidled closer to the boys.  She ran her fingers through her flat, grey hair and let out a yearning sigh.  

'Do you want to take a look around…boys?' she asked breathily.

'What's going on?' Sirius hissed viciously at the others.  He pressed himself against the wall as she took another sidestep forward.  She traced a finger down the side of his cheek and Sirius shot a last desperate glance towards James, Remus and Peter.

'Are you sure you're not wearing the wrong glasses…?' James tried in vain.

'Are you sure you've taken your medication?' asked Peter, horror and disgust mingling across his expressions as she now turned to James and Remus with that feral look sparkling within her eyes.  

'Go away, little boy!' Mrs Doobledwight snapped at Peter and continued to stare longingly at the other three.  

Although Peter didn't envy the attention Remus, Sirius and James were getting right at this moment, he couldn't help thinking that he had been left out again in some way. 

 Peter backed out of the shop and fell out onto the dusky stone of Hogsmeade main parade.  He was shortly followed by the other three, toppling down over one anther as Mrs Doobledwight advanced towards them.

'Don't go my loves,' she called as they hurriedly moved further away from her shop door.  'Why don't you come in for some cakes and maybe a _hot drink_…?'

At these final words, the four Marauders broke into a sprint.  It had started to rain, quietly as they skidded around past the resident joke shop and slowed down to a walk.

'Ok, ok…what is going on?' James asked looking at the other exasperatedly.

'We don't know,' Sirius told him, carefully stepping on Remus's foot as he did.  Remus contained a yelp of pain and merely nodded and only when James' back had turned did he shoot Sirius a foul-meaning glare.  Peter had been oblivious of the other's hidden glances as he held his books over his head to stop the rain from falling there.

Indeed, there were only a few stragglers left out on the street and they watched the last ones flee into the Three Broomsticks.  Following their lead, the four young men jogged across the road and pushed open the heavy wooden door of the pub.  They were hit with a blast of warm air, the smell of butterbeer and the noise of a whole throng of people who had gone inside to escape from the rain and cold.

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Review more!!! It's the only way to truly find out…

What lies in wait for Sirius, Remus, James and Peter inside the Three Broomsticks?

What follows them back to Hogwarts?

And is there love blossoming for Sirius and old Mrs Doobledwight? *snorts* - ok, I bet none of you saw THAT coming.

The review button is _calling_ to you…  It _needs _you to press it…


	4. The Three Broomsticks

Ok, ok everyone- I can't help it because I've wanted to do this ever since I found this site (which is actually quite recently because for the most part of my like, the internet and myself did not understand each other.) so here's me list of thanks…*beams*

Erm…thanks Prowling Wolf for following the story from the beginning (because that wasn't like, three chapters ago hehehe) and for loving it and pointing out my (DELIBERATE) mistakes. (You know I was just testing you guys…^_^)

Thanks Salamander for encouragement as it is my first fic and all!!  

Thanks Unseen Stag for finding this funny, it's a strange thing I'll grant you.

Thanks to kitsune-oni (wow my spell check did _not _like your name) for finding my mistakes (rare as they may be ^_-) and of course you can have some potion *hands big tub of specially brewed potion with official _lightbulbs inc. stamp on*_

Thanks to Icy- enjoy this chapter as I can see you positively fainting with anticipation.

Thanks to Snuffles is my dog.  However, I am not quite agreeing you there seeing as Sirius Black takes up his residence in my bed therefore cannot be your dog ^_-.  Hehehehe…I expect quite a few angry returns at this claim but I will use the flames to light my candles for our beautifully romantic evening together…ahhh. Well, come on…I can only wish!

Lastly but not leastly thanks Nikki for a lovely review

Woah, ok that was long and very padded out!  I'll get on with it now.

**Chapter 4- The Three Broomsticks**

The Three Broomsticks would have been over crowded anyway at a Hogwarts's Hogsmeade weekend, but due to the weather conditions most of the people formally wandering along the wide street, had sought refuse inside.  

The place was teaming- seemingly bursting at it's shackles for all the people who packed had packed themselves into it noisily and were now making very jolly.  This was mainly due to the number of Hogwarts's young witches and wizards, and although only fourth year and above were allowed, this was a great deal.

But as soon as the four marauders entered the inn which had been humming like a beehive, there was a noticeable change.   Well, noticeable to the four young men's eyes as they were already on guard from their odd _encounter with the old Mrs Doobledwight.  There was an alert stillness and the turning of archly interested feminine eyes._

Shrugging unhelpfully to Remus and James, Sirius began to make his way towards the bar, through the crushing crowd.  

However, he was prevented from moving any further by the abrupt standing up of a sixth year Ravenclaw girl called Milly.

Of course he knew her- she was gorgeous and he had wanted her ever since he was a first year and she a sophisticated second year.  But she merely teased his advances.  He was a year younger then he and the taboo was not easily broken.  She wanted him all the same, who didn't want Sirius Black?

But now as she stood up her eyes were glazed and she bit her lip as her hungry gaze swept across his face resting upon his dark lips and then flicking, flirtatiously, back up to his eyes.  

The swiftness and unexpectedness of her sudden standing meant that she was very close to him, their chests inches apart.  Her boyfriend, a burly seventh year stood up accordingly and when Milly pressed Sirius up against the door and their faces were nearly touching he ventured forwards towards the couple.

But before the dangerous looking seventh year could even approach, there was a loud crack and a horrified scream.  

Another girl had risen from her seat and slapped Milly across the face and now more girls and woman piled in form the bar, clawing at each other and at Sirius.

Looking desperately to Remus and James he found them both in severely uncompromising positions, Remus his back pressed against a table, wide eyed and looking extremely frightened, and James looking completely bewildered, his glasses hanging from one ear.

Finally managing to push away the unwelcome advances, an extremely red Remus batted his way through to Sirius.

'We have to leave now!' he hissed, the desperation already rising in his voice, already more high pitched then usual.

'The potion will wear off soon!' Sirius panted, trying to sound convincing.  'Anyway, where is your sense of fun, Moony?'

Remus's mouth drooped open for a second before he snapped, 'I think I left it somewhere in Magical Menagerie.'  True to Remus's guesses, Sirius closed his mouth and a fleeting look of both disgust and dread passed over it as he caught sight of the old, ugly barmaid swarming towards them.

'Ok, on my count we run.  One…' But James had already seized the back of his robes and they all broke into a sprint, bashing their shoulders against each other and the door frame in their fervent hurry to escape. 

The rain was heavier and the wind whipped their cloaks about them, moaning loudly about the streets and stripping the trees of the last few, browning leaves.  

Running and slipping along the cobbled street, Remus, Sirius and James did not look to see that they were followed and with James in the lead, turned the corner back to Hogwarts.  

Slowing their sprint to a half-hearted and extremely exhausted jog, they turned the last corner to see the castle spread out in front of them.  Ducking into the thinner trees of the forbidden forest, the three realised for the first time that they had lost Peter.  

Each shrugged inwardly.

'Ok, you are telling me right now,' James said, trying to calm his ragged voice.

Sirius looked at Remus who gave him a 'this was all your idea' stare back.

Clearing his throat Sirius explained, 'It's to do with that spilt potion yesterday, I think that's why Peter's unaffected.  Anyway, we were brewing this irresistibility potion for you because we were fed up of you mooning around after Lily all day and thought you should get a break.  Well, it wasn't finished- no hair from her ladyship's precious head and it still had to be left overnight to calm.  We assumed it just would be wasted…'  Trailing off he saw James grimace and giving them both a look.

'Oh right guys.  Thanks for your faith in my natural animal magnetism,' James said in reply, voice heavily laden with sarcasm.

'You know, I think I know what happened,' Remus said, his brow creased in thought.  'Well because we hadn't added Lily's hair, the potion worked without any kind of selection, except of course for the victims to be female.  And it obviously had a reason for it to be left to _calm_ overnight.'

'You know,' Sirius interjected suddenly looking pensive.  'Every time that sort of thing happens in a fantasy it doesn't end with me running away from all the horny girls.  And now it happens for real…' he sighed.  'Ironic that.'

Remus's eyes flew even wider open and he pressed the others to the back of a wide tree trunk.  Girls' voices, bickering and hungry flew past them towards the castle.  

'Not good,' confirmed James.  'Well we'll have to head back towards the castle.  It's the only place we know well enough to hide in and we should probably get the Marauder's Map while we're there too.'

There nods all around, though a sullen, pouting one from Sirius, who had recognized the voice of Milly from the passing group of girls.   

'On my count…' Sirius began.

'Come on, let's just go!'

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**Mmmmmm…Sirius pouting… *goes off into never ending dreamworld***

**Review if you want to…**

**(a) **Find out who the marauders bump into in Gryffindor common room…****

**(b) **Find out what happens with Snape in the dungeon's…****

**(c) **Find out how much more embarrassed Remus can possibly get…****

**(d) **See more of Sirius pouting…****

**(e) **Encourage disincludement of the rat… (yes spell check; I know it's not a word, deal with it!)****

**(f) **More Sirius!  More James!  More Remus! No Peter!...  ****

**(g) **Get a massive virtual hug from moi…****

**(h) **Encourage me to write the next chapter****

**Ok, that should be enough to be going with guys.  Come on…I mean, how persuasive is my argument???**

**I'll be a lawyer yet!!**


	5. Snape the Ape

**A/N: Thank you for the wonderful reviews, I have been going around the house singing ever since ^_^!  While I'm writing this I have about 24 which is approximately…24 more than I expected.  Ok, in reply to kitsune-oni, prowling wolf and Aurora Snidget- yes, I am a lonely writer who didn't have a beta reader.  Well…I really should have checked through it more thoroughly than a skim…oopsie!  Now I do have a wonderful beta however *beams at Ary* there shouldn't be many of them and if there are report back to her, mwhahahaa!**

**In reply to Unseen Stag- *gives massive virtual hug anyway so s/he comes out in hives* Woohoo, Snape the Ape! Can I use that as one of his nicknames?  Pretty please?**

**To Kitsune-oni, Prowling wolf and Ary- HE'S MINE!!!!!! *runs away with Sirius tucked neatly under her arm* Waaahoo!**

**To Jewel Valentine and Prongsies- *throws the rat down big spiky hole and cackles insanely* ^___^**

**Thanks to Love speaks, silently (Well you reviewed didn't you! Hahaha), Pearls, Prongsies (I'm working on it for you!), Aurora Snidget (ack, first years, fourth years- what's the difference *hides head in shame*), Jewel Valentine, Doneril, razormouthrachel, Emily S (hope I was of some help!) JamesPotter09, Unseen Stag and Rolf?!**

**Chapter Five- Snape the Ape**

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The Marauders had gotten inside Hogwarts without being spotted simply enough but here was the most difficult part.  They now stood breathlessly inside the empty Great Hall and stood panting, huddled together.  

The Hogwarts' crest hung, emblazoned on a banner, at the head of the Hall and every time a corner of it fluttered, Remus started and stared around with wide eyes.

'It's just the wind Moony,' James told him, slapping Remus on the back encouragingly.  'Stop being so jumpy, you're putting me on edge.'  

Sirius, flushed at the face, tore his outdoor-cloak; the hood lined with slivery fur, over his head and dropped it to the floor.  The others followed suit, the pleasantly crackling fire in the room was heat enough.

When each of their ragged breaths slowed and their breaths came more evenly, James ventured to speak again.

'Ok.  Let's deal with the situation logically now.  We need to find an antidote, agreed?'  The other two nodded; Remus fervently but Sirius much more half-heartedly.

'Well then we need to go and find someone who is really good at potions.  We obviously can't ask Professor Stickybat can we…'  They all shuddered at the thought of the female Professor doing anything other than give them detentions.

'So who else,' James continued, 'is male, good at potions and stays behind during trips to Hogsmeade?  Look I'll give you a clue…his name rhymes with ape.'         

'Snape the Ape!' cried Sirius.  'Snivellus- of course, but will he help us? I suppose we are quite persuasive if we put our minds to it,' he said, sharing a wicked glance with James

 Remus frowned and bit his bottom lip in thought.  'Could work,' he interjected doubtfully.  'Then all we'd have to do is go and find him.  Do you remember him talking to The Potion Master last night saying he was going to go and help clean out the potion cupboard, Padfoot?'

Sirius nodded and looked to James.  'Now's a good enough time as any.'

A strange lopsided smile came to James's lips and he shook his head slowly.

'You seem to be mistaken somewhere, my dear Marauders.  Seeing as you got us all into this fine mess, **you will get us out.  Meanwhile I am going to take a trip to the Gryffindor common room where, I gather, Lily Evans is still working on her Transfiguration essay.  I'll come meet you down there.'  **

He smirked happily and gave them both a little encouraging push towards the great door.

Remus rolled his eyes in annoyance and with held breath, pushed open the door a crack to peer his head round.  Sirius joined him, pressing his back to the door and clasping his fingers in the shape of a gun.  

It was only when Sirius began humming the James Bond theme tune that Remus aimed a well-placed elbow to his ribs. 

Sirius began making crackling noises under his breath then spoke seemingly to the Hogwarts crest on his robe,

 'Come in Agent Moony? I repeat, do you receive?'

Remus reached over and cuffed the back of Sirius's head, who then shot him a venomous look as he redid his hair huffily.

'Just playing around Moony,' he said, sticking out his bottom lip sulkily.  Remus made as if to hit him again and Sirius ducked away whimpering.

'Ok, ok, no joking around now, I get it!'  

Stealthily the two dashed across the open space of the high-ceilinged atrium and ducked under an arch on the other side.  They quick-stepped themselves frantically past some chattering second years and only slowed to a walk when they were in the dank and lonely dungeon corridors.  

Turning a particularly dark corner where the torches in their wall brackets were more widely spaced, Remus and Sirius bumped into Snape a little earlier than they expected.

Brandishing his wand immediately, he snarled, 

'Black and Lupin.  In unknown territory I see.' And at that moment Sirius and Remus realised how dangerously close to the Slytherin common room they were.

Rather uncharacteristically, Remus, in a degree of panic, raised his wand before either Snape or Sirius could mutter their own jinxes.   

'Impedimenta!'  Snape froze up, his mouth contorted in a sneer.  Sirius gave Remus an impressed look commenting, 'Nice show, Moony,' before muttering a spell of his own.  The body of the conscious yet disabled Snape followed behind them as Sirius began again to walk.  

Emus caught onto him, his face a picture of horror at what he had just done.  'I'm a prefect,' he kept muttering but Sirius hushed him when they reached the door to the potion cupboard.  After a few complications it was open and pushing Snape inside after carefully removing his wand, Sirius muttered the counter curse to the jinx.

'We've got a little favour to ask you.'

* * * * * * *

James told the portrait of the Fat Lady the Gryffindor password with impatience.  He crawled at great speed through the portrait hole reemerging on the other side, his eyes desperately trying to spot Miss Evans's trademark red hair.  

After getting excited for a moment after spotting a different red head, James concluded that she must be in her dormitory.  

He yelped as a younger Gryffindor girl began to trail her hand down his cheek and dove through the common room to the stair case.  Making it safely, he began to climb the spiraling steps and stood on the landing between the stairs for the boy's dorms and the girl's dorms but was knocked backwards against the stonework by a flying student crashing into him.

'Careful, are you okay?' he asked quickly.  But as he realised that it was Lily Evans who had knocked him over, his face softened.  Her eyes went to meet hers evenly.  

_Now, he wasn't so horrible to look at, was he?_

Taking the heaven-sent opportunity, James stepped forward and grabbed her hand.  This was so uncharacteristic of James, the simple sweet gesture that Lily did not pull back just then

But when he reached out to kiss her, she withdrew her hand immediately and slapped it full across his face.  Reeling from the sharp impact James fell back a few steps to look back up at a slightly bewildered Lily.

'What did you do that for?' he asked incredulously.  

'What you thought I was going to kiss you back or something?'

James looked at the floor sheepishly.  'Kinda.'

'Euh!' she remarked, picking up her books on the floor from when they collided.  'Then you mistake me for some of those other girls who fall for your childish and utterly irresponsible charms.

'Aha! So you admit I have charms!' James shouted with enthusiasm.  She rolled her eyes.

'Not ones to be proud of.'  Readjusting the books in her arms, she walked off, past James and down th stairs to the common room.  Listening in silence to her receding footfalls, James crossed his arms in annoyance.  

_Lily was so stubborn even a spell wouldn't work on her._

Sighing with defeat, James decided to join the other two in the potion cupboard.  

_A little Snape teasing did wonders for a bad temper._

* * * * * * * * * 

When James entered the unlocked potion cupboard he saw Snape, back pressed against the wall with Sirius leaning threateningly over him and Remus standing back against the wall playing with Snape's wand.

'Now you wouldn't want everyone to know that your mother threw you out because she couldn't bear to look at you anymore, would you now?' Sirius was asking him.

'She didn't!' Snape spluttered, his normal sneer only lessened slightly by the situation. 

'Ah, but who to believe…?' James responded raising his eyebrows.

'Potter,' Snape spat.

'Snivellus, a pleasure as usual.'

But as James began to wonder aloud about the different hexes he knew and would use on him, Snape's sneer dropped from his face and he interrupted James suddenly.

'I will make a bargain with you,' he said stoutly.  'It is a small thing for you and I will make your potion…it is simple enough with ingredients to hand like the ones in here.'

James, Remus and Sirius exchanged suspicious glances until James nodded to Snape to continue.

'Well?'

Snape looked embarrassedly to the ground and delayed for a moment.

'It's something quite personal…'

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**Ok everyone all done!  Now review to:**

**(a) **Find out what Snape wants from the Marauders…****

**(b) **Find out why Lily is unaffected by the potion…****

**(c) **Have more James Bond style Sirius... ^_^****

**(d) **Help throw the rat into the Bog of Eternal Stench… (ah…if only I could really kill him *dreams*)****

**(e) **Win a massive virtual Sirius hug… (mine wasn't too popular)****

**(f) **Be my favourist ever person in the whole world…****

**(g) **Get the next chapter dedicated to you if you're review is the bestest…****

**Woohoo**, that****** was a good and healthy list!**

**BUT WAIT! You cannot be get (e), (f) or (g) UNLESS you go and review my second ever fic called 'Did you say JUST Quiddich?'  Starring our favourite Oliver Wood and Katie Bell.  Ok, now I'm done. ^_^**


	6. Transfiguration

**A/N: Ok, thank for all the reviews guys!  Tashmania: good guess…but not so good- read on to find out the real reason!  Pensive puddles: *snatches Sirius from her death-bringing arms* mwhahahaa! Mundungus Fletcher: *drools over chocolate* how about maraudertastic?  Mione lover: favourite's list?  Really, really?! Anne: mwhahaha…in this chapter all will be revealed! Yassy: *salutes* aye, aye!  The one and only amy: thank you! *gives Sirius to her for a hug*.  Sammy- I might have told you to come and r&r but thanks all the same. Kitsune oni: I thought you had gone forever *sniff*, glad you like. Orli's Personal Pirate: Thankie, I love new reviewers!  Joint the strange following! FrankieBGoode: it's not Lily, I fooled you all! I've got a better idea for Peter though…**

**…I will turn him into a flea and then I will put that flea in a box, then that box into another box, then that box into another box, then mail it to myself and SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!!! **

**Announcement of dedication of chapter: Well, Prowling Wolf DEFINITELY doesn't get it because she insists on rewriting my whole chapter in each review *sticks out tongue*.  Ary doesn't get it for putting the corrections in an unnoticeable red, but I WUV YOU ALL THE SAME!  **

**It goes to Prongsies my lovely dedicated and beautiful reviewer whose name I have just added to the computer in my dictionary *beams*.   **

**Chapter 6- Transfiguration**

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'Spit it out, Snivellus!' Sirius yelled at Snape, tightening his grip on the front of his robes with menacing strength.  

Snape, who looked exactly as though he was going to let them draw it out of him, suddenly garbled.

'I want James to lose the Quiddich match against Slytherin.'

James's mouth hung open at the unexpected demands.  It was certainly strange that Snape would waste one of the best opportunities just for his house.  Was he really about to waste his chance when he had the marauders at his mercy?

Sirius beckoned James and Remus into a huddle, out of reach of Snape's sharp hearing and addressed them.

'Look.  I don't think we have too much choice here.'  James tried to object but Sirius held out of hand to silence him. 

'No Prongs, think what he has over on us.  He's the only one who could possibly find a remedy for this curse and we don't know how long it will last.  He knows that we were making potions outside classes _and_ he could tell all the girls that we made it just to make all of them love us.  Come on, it can't just be me who is terrified by the slighted witches in this school.'  

'But what am I supposed to do?' James asked incredulously.  'I'm the captain, this would be terrible!'

Sirius quirked his eyebrow at James.  

'Come on now Prongs, just fall off your broom or something…we've all seen it before.'

James shot Sirius a look of venom and then elbowed Remus as he began to snigger.  'Oh you're so witty.'

'Well now you come to it…' Sirius started but Remus cut him off saying,

'Let's not get sidetracked Padfoot.  But he's right you know Prongs, you're going to have to do this.'

Breaking the huddle, James turned around to face Snape again who had desperately trying to listen into their conversation.  He folded his arms professionally across his muscular chest that came from playing too much Quiddich.  Looking suitably like he hadn't gotten his own way, he said,

'Well Snivellus, seems we've decided to humour your terms.  Next match I will lose to Slytherin but right now, you make the remedy we need.'

A satisfied smirk spread across Snape's greasy face and James looked away disgustedly.  With open suspicion towards the Marauders, Snape drew up a contract and signed up his name and got the other three to do this also.  With a magically binding hex.  He rolled it up neatly, duplicated it, ad handed one copy to James.

'Excellent, thanks so much Potter.  Now to this potion.'  His small eyes scanned around the room as began to think out loud.  'Yes, I think we'll be needing some of that definitely…hmmmm…and I wonder if there is any of that in here…'  his eyes snapped back to the other three.

'Potter, pass me some of that Filesweed behind you.'

Get it yourself,' James replied sulkily as Remus rolled his eyes and passed it to Snape himself.

* * * * * * * * *

No more girls chased Remus, Sirius and James down the hall ways.  In fact they seemed to have gone completely back to normal and had forgotten everything since Snape had brewed the reversing potion.  And although this had saved them, everything seemed to suddenly grow boring in comparison to the running and desperation of escape and evasion.

Later in Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws, James was still sulking. They were grouped in threes to transfigure a table into a bird.  It was the first time that class had transfigured inanimate objects into animate ones and they weren't having much success.

James and Sirius sat around the table nonchalantly at the back of the classroom, staring at it glumly as Remus attempted the transfiguration and failed numerous times.  

'I can't believe you made me agree,' James said feebly, poking the table with his wand but not even bothering to mutter the incantation.

'You're not _still_ thinking about that are you?' Sirius asked with exasperation.

Remus flopped down in his chair and glared gloomily at the twitching table in front of him.

'Do you think it looks remotely birdlike?' he asked the other two dejectedly.  Sirius grinned and pretended to inspect the table.

'Wait Moony- I think there are a few feathers sprouting down here.'

'Really?' Remus asked hopefully.

'No,' Sirius answered shaking his head.  'You must stop being so damn gullible, mate!'  Remus rolled his eyes back at Sirius but personally agreed.

'I know,' he replied gloomily.  'Who wants to have a go at this table as my futile attempts seem to get it nowhere?  Go on Prongs, you're the best at Transfiguration here.'  James merely stared stonily ahead and repeated,

'I can't believe you made me agree to Snape.'

Cuffing his sharply on the back of the head, Sirius jumped to his feet and held him hand aloft with unfounded energy.  He received odd looks from Remus and James but went unnoticed by the majority of the class because they were busy with their tables: most still unmoving but several had sprouted beaks by this stage.

'I think this lesson needs to be livened up a bit, don't you?' Sirius asked, pressing his palms together, his eyes glinting wildly.  'Let's blow something up the muggle way!'

Remus and James exchanged a look.

'Okay, who else regrets showing Padfoot the James bond films?' 

James raised his hand solemnly. 

But Sirius was not to be put off and from the back pocket of his dark jeans he produced a small bag and carefully unfolded it.

'Gold dust,' he whispered to the other two, who were awed to silence in the immediate wake of the substances' revealing.  There was a pause.

'Where did you get that?  It can be quite dangerous.' Remus said, as sensible as always. Ignoring him, Sirius extended his other hand and unfurled it revealing a snare of string.  The fuse.

'I've been researching,' he told them as if this was completely normal and placed them both on the table in front of them.  'This is going to work perfectly' he informed them with obvious mounting glee.

Since when did magical explosions become so dull?' Remus asked with resignation.

'Since always, Moony!' James, who had perked up considerably at the mention of explosions, explained impatiently.  'Now all we need is a distraction.'

It was as if the fates of chaos saluted to James as a marauder and took his words to heart.  

There were several screams as, with the misdirection of a Ravenclaw girl's wand, a student instead of a table transformed partly into a misshaped bird.  When usually the marauders would have attended this kind of performance with a standing ovation, today they turned their heads together, deep in mischievous plotting.

'Go put it over there!  Over there!' James whispered, pushing Sirius towards the source of his frantic pointing.  Sirius stumbled forward and after looking behind him for conformation, hid the small bomb underneath a full cauldron next to the young teacher's desk.  He wasn't sure quite why it was there or what was in it but he sparked the fuse nevertheless with his wand and hurried back to the others with a quick dive-roll.  Peter was giving them odd looks and from where he was practicing with his partners but they ignored him (A/N: Woo, some more blatant rat-bashing!)

Ducking behind the table with James and Remus already hidden underneath, he nodded to them.

'All done.  It should only be a few seconds now…'

By now, the immediate drama of the poor Ravenclaw girl's accident was wearing off and the victim of the transfigure had been sent up to the hospital wing with the girl who had done it following, apologizing profusely. 

BOOM!  It was as if the whole castle had exploded.  James, Sirius and Remus were hidden under the table and at the sound fot eh explosion and then the screams of the fellow students, Sirius burst into hysterical giggles, James swore loudly and Remus buried his head further into this hand, repeating 'I knew his was a bad idea' to himself over and over again.

'Merlin above!' they heard the shriek of the professor.  'Stop panicking…oh come on dear; it's not the end of the world!'  Resurfacing, the three boys found the Professor ushering with obvious irritance, some of the Ravenclaw girls- weeping- towards her and examining their faces.  Looking around there were some others-Peter included- with their hands clutching their faces trying to hold on to enlarged features.  One girl was being dragged to one side by the new weight of her over-sized ear whilst Peter was gibbering to the boy next to him about the unbelievable size of his nose.

Snickering heartily, Sirius nudged the others and even Remus couldn't deny that it was a hilarious sight although he was trying to give both him and James reproachful looks.

It seemed that wherever the potion had hit, the covered area had grown to almost five times its normal size but bizarrely, James noticed a few of the Gryffindor girls- Lily Evans included- had not been affected and were scraping off the grey-green potion with obvious irritance but with no degree of surprise that it hadn't affected them in the slightest.  

As the Professor raged on about someone having left the flame under the cauldron for too long and sending up for students to the hospital wing waspishly, James called out to Lily.

'Hey Evans!  Why did the potion not affect you and your friends?'  

She spun around to give him with an even glare.   'Why didn't it affect you and your _friends_?' she replied, echoing his annoyance.

James rolled his eyes and told her, 

'Our lightening-fast reactions meant that we managed to duck behind the table just in time.  Now just answer my question!'  

This time it was Lily's turn to roll her eyes.  'Do you have the memory capacity of a brain-dead flee or do I have to remind you of what we have been practicing in Defence about the Dark Arts just yesterday?'  At James's blank stare she continued with an exasperated sigh.

'We were practicing the Impervious Charm!  It means that potions have no affect over you in the immediate few days after you take it.  Oh wait, I remember now- you lot managed to "accidentally" make a whole bookshelf fall down so you could attach that magical note onto the Professor's when his back was turned.  Real witty...'I have a fetish for flobberworms' was it?'  She turned on her heel and began to pack away her things for it was clear that the lesson was coming to an end.  

James snorted at the memory and wondered if someone had told him about it yet.  Lily, catching sight of James's satisfied smirk, threw her hands into the air with the air of someone who had given up and slung her bag across her shoulder.  Leaving her essay promptly on the front desk and having received a distracted nod from the Professor, she went to leave the classroom.

'I'll catch you later then!' James yelled after her and without turning around she replied,

'Hope not to!' 

Sirius came up behind him and slapped him on the back.  'You're in there Prongs.  Just slightly _impervious to your charms_ that's all.'  He sniggered at his own pun but James shrugged off his hand.  

'That potion of yours didn't work but don't think I'll be put off.'

'Oh dear,' Remus commented on James's steely look as he joined them again after the Professor deal with the hysterical students.  '_Oh dear, dear.'_

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**OK, was everyone surprised? Please comment on bits you especially liked because it makes me happy ^_^! Review to:**

**(a) **Find out if James does what Snape asks…****

**(b) **Find out what happens in the Quiddich match…****

**(c) **Find out why Snape wants this so badly…****

**(d) **See if the Marauders ever experience the hex Snape puts on their agreement…****

**(e) **See if the Marauders give Snape what he really needs…(no, not a bath but that too ^_^)****

**(f) **Get a massive virtual hug from Sirius/Remus or James…****

**(g) **Get my next chapter dedicated to them and steal Prongsies' title…****

**(h) **Have a good thwack at the box with Peter the flea inside (even though I flattened it earlier)…****

**(i) **Have some of my banana… (I'm afraid it's all I have in the world…*sniff*)****

**There you go and if that's not enough reasons then I'll have my banana back thank you! (But just incase: *leaves trail of chocolate on the way to the review button*)**


	7. The Quidditch Match Pt 1

**A/N: Thank yous to… FrankieBGoode: aw thanks! I will update, I will update… Prowling Wolf, Deppyfan, Mystical Iris: my wonderful beta, dedicated to you, Cepheus, Pensive Puddles, Jewel Valentine- I love you all.**

**And extra especial prizes goes to Kitsune-oni for being my 50th reviewer, dun dun dunnnn!!!  And SOOOOOOORRRRY for taking SO long real life is most stressifying and I was finding writing hard….apologies in their thousands and please forgive me!  Hopefully this chapter should make it up a bit..**

** Chapter 7- The Quidditch Match Pt. 1**

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The sun paled against the overcast sky that was rapidly clearing to a frostily bright day.  It was nearly eleven and the fifth year boy's dormitory was silent yet only one of the bed's curtains was drawn.  James, Peter and Remus, unable to persuade their growling stomachs they were not hungry, had left James seemingly asleep.

With a tremendous amount of noise for just one person, Sirius stumbled into the room, and flopped onto his bed pushing the rest of his things onto the floor where they seemed to collect. Remus following with more reservation, went and sat cross-legged on his own bed and chewed on a piece of toast he had brought up for James.

'Oi!' Sirius yelled, after a few moments of silence and then directed a quaffle that was lying on his pillow at James's bed.  'Prongs you sloth, wake up, I'm bored.'

After a long silence as Sirius eyed James's bed, frowning distinctly at it, there seemed to be some movement from within the curtains.  The red quaffle flew out through the velvet aimed neatly at Sirius's head and was only stopped by his hand batting it away at the last moment. 

With a grin, Sirius bounded to his feet, and after beckoning Remus to him, he crept to James's bed and drew the curtains with a flourish.

'It's alive!' he shrieked, pointing at James's head that was poking from the top of the massive pile of blankets.  The black unruly hair stuck up at the crown and fell into his eyes but James made no suggestion of movement. He merely stared straight past both of them to somewhere on the roof of his four-poster bed.

Remus quirked his eyebrows at Sirius and went to sit down at the end of the bed where Sirius sprawled down on his stomach next to him.

'I think I'm dying' James said to that same point on his four-poster bed.

'Shut up, no you are not.'

'Yes I am Padfoot, and you'll be sorry you that you told me to shut up when I am.'

'Nothing could make me sorry for saying that to you, darling,' Sirius told him, examining his fingernails absently then looking back up at James.

'Now just get up…it's Saturday and you are going to be playing Quidditch this afternoon.'

Remus put his head to one side and then the other, sandy bangs falling down onto is forehead.  Looking down at the piece of toast he still held, he held it out in offering to James.

The black locks shook in rejection of the food, and James turned his head away.

'Can't eat, can't move. Never want to get out of bed.' 

Sirius shook his head and reached under the edge of James' pillow to bring out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter.  Putting one in his mouth, he told James:

'You know, these moods aren't going do anything for your complexion.  Honestly, how many times do we have to say it, you are not deathly ill, you are not going to die and you are not going to stay in this bed forever!'

With at first an appalled expression then a steely, disappointed look, Remus removed the unlit cigarette from Sirius's mouth just as he sparked the lighter and threw it onto the floor out of reach.

'Y'know Prongs, I heard something that might interest you,' Sirius said, removing another cigarette from the packet and lighting it in his mouth flippantly.  'I heard Lily Evans was going out with that prat Diggory.'  Yet again with a growl, Remus plucked it from between his lips and after stubbing it out on the wooden bed post, threw it away with the other one.

James's eyes narrowed and his head moved up from the pillow at a slight angle so his eyes could flick between Remus and Sirius suspiciously.

'You're lying?' he croaked.

'Yeah.'

'Well you shouldn't lie,' James said, letting his head flop back down to the pillow, his eyes resuming their half-lidded state as before. 

Remus decided to intervene; James as always, was being overdramatic to perfection and Sirius, despite his efforts when James was in one of these moods, did not help matters much.

'Look James Potter, you are going to get up now or we are personally going to carry you and drop you into the lake.  Now that will be one cold wake up call,' Remus commented, snickering as he glanced out the window at the Scottish winter.

Sirius grinned at Remus and went to pick up James in a fireman's lift to which he finally got a proper reaction. Struggling against Sirius's surprisingly strong arms James's blank visage changed to a horrified one and he shouted,

'Ugh Padfoot, get off me you completely idiotic idiot!'

'Sticks and stones.'

As Sirius retreated with a short burst of laughter at James's expression, James half fell, half stumbled out of his bed and eyed them both with extreme _unamusement_ as they laughed, his hair sticking up giving him a wild, feral look.

'Ahh, I see you are awake, Master Prongs- excellent!' Sirius remarked, getting off the bed and stretching regally.  'Care to go promenading around the lake with us?'

James shot him a confused look as he went to pull on a black shirt and button it slowly.  'Promenading?' he asked hesitantly.

'Oh yes,' answered Sirius swiftly, knotting a red tie loosely around his own neck deftly.  'They do it all the time in Spain.'

'How cultured,' muttered James as he passed Sirius to reach for his robes with his wand inside.  Sirius raised an amused eyebrow and quickly grabbed his own cloak and wand.

'Come on you lazy-arses,' he yelled back up at them as he slid down the spiraling banister and landed smoothly, slowing his pace down to a walk and half turning to wait for the other two.  Remus had always wanted to try that neat trick of Sirius's but feared that it was not as simple as Sirius made it look.  He decided to make a mental note; for the next time he happened to be alone…

'Oi, stop daydreaming!' Sirius's sharp command was tinged with a humored edge as he beheld Remus and James clomping slowly down the steps.  'Come on Moony, you're nearly as bad as old Grumpy Gertrude there' he snorted.  'And that _is_ saying something…'

'Hey,' James exclaimed, seeming to be grudgingly surfacing from his previous mood.  'Where's Wormtail?'

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks of bafflement then Sirius laughed suddenly and told them both,

'Oh I think we lost him somewhere around that missing step half whilst coming up from breakfast.'  All three cast their eyes down but each one noticed the side's of each other's mouths curving up in a smile.  Peter was the only fifth year who still forgot about that innocent-looking stair, half way up the staircase on the way back to Gryffindor tower.

Catching each other's eyes, all three burst into simultaneous raucous laughter.

Sirius took in a deep lungful of smoke and then exhaled into the frosty air blowing the smoke where it hung there before dispersing slowly into the surrounding atmosphere.  As they sat in silence Remus thought to himself how long his hair was becoming as he played with a tawny forelock then throwing it back flippantly and chancing a look at James.  He was brooding, not seeming to notice the collected ash on his fag end until it tumbled to the grass and his unseeing gaze was broken as it flicked to the disturbance with a hint of surprise and annoyance. 

Nobody spoke for the moment. The stillness of the landscape seemed only the surface; as the three boys sat, a head leaning against a hand or legs stretched out in front of him, they could sense the hum of nature, the deep groan of the trees. 

Prongs's acute hearing suddenly seemed to pick up on something a lot less natural.  He cocked his head to the side, a stray strand of charcoal hair falling in front of his eyes but he swiped it away swiftly with irritance.  Remus and James had also heard it by now: a female giggle…voices from just inside the trees of the forbidden forest, the scuffling of shoes on the carpet of leaves.  Sirius relaxed- whoever was in there, they weren't going to disturb. 

James went back to staring out across the lake, eyes narrowed as he silently stewed. 

'Hey Remus' Sirius interjected finally, his soft lazy voice punctuated with a small cough.  'You've dropped your prefect badge,' he gestured to the ground behind them.  The miniscule shield faced downwards, the golden underside glinting back up at the sun. 

Looking confused, Remus went to pick it up and then looking more confused, handed it to Sirius.  It was green, the letter 'P' gilded onto it in silver.  Sirius tossed the badge to James who caught it with surprise at the last minute and narrowed his eyes at the forest where they had heard voices just seconds before.  'Malfoy.'

Striding towards the forest, Sirius looked around with a slight upturn of one side of his mouth and took his wand from his back pocket and motioned for Remus and James to stay where they were.  James gave him a quizzical look and Sirius mouthed back,

'Pay him back for last Friday in the Great Hall,' at which James grinned and nodded, realizing the need for revenge.  Remus sighed and sat down, knowing it was no use to protest. 

However not a few seconds after Sirius had snuck silently into the forest than there was an abrupt girlish scream and he stumbled right back out again, covering his eyes with the crook of his elbow and whimpering. Remus and James jumped back from the scene, horrified as to what could have caused such a reaction from Sirius. 

'Padfoot, what the bloody hell is it?' James exclaimed impatiently with more than a hint of alarm.  Sirius seemed to be shaken from his current shocked state, and began briskly walking back towards the castle. Remus and James stumbled and ran to keep up with his hasty, determined strides.  After the endless please of explanation from the other two, Sirius finally collapsed on the steps of one of the entrance to the castle and muttered,

'It was Snape….he was…he was…' then hid his face in his hands, seemingly too distressed to say anything further. 

'He was what?' interrogated Remus worriedly.  'Was he doing dark magic??'  Sirius looked up confused and shook his head at this assumption.

'No it was worse…he was….he was…' he trailed off again and then with a wail, let out,

'He was with a girl!  A Gryffindor if I could see correctly from her robes!'

Remus looked relieved but James looked equally disgusted and put his hand comfortingly on Sirius' shoulder.  'I'm sorry you had to see something like that,' he said solemnly.  Then suddenly he looked alarmed and asked,

'Who was it?? You said it was a Gryffindor girl….was it Lily??'

'I don't think so, but it was dark so it was unclear.  She was very tall that's all I remember.  I just can't possibly think of any Gryffindor who would do such a thing.  You'll recognize her though, the way he was sucking on her neck she'll have love bites there that a simple spell will have a tough job of removing.' 

'Thanks for the lovely imagery, plank,' Remus gimaced.

The Quidditch match, on the surface was a "friendly" game before the matches for the house cup started, but was in fact to resolve a bet between the heads of Gryffindor and Slytherin houses.  This, had it been known, wouldn't have really mattered to the players and as it was also a fieldtrip weekend for some of the sixth and seventh years, there weren't a great deal of supporters come out to watch.

This suited James fine as he thundered about in the common room and grabbed his broom from the corner of the room, a dark cloud of gloom hanging over his head as he scowled around at the players gathering there.   

'Sirius, buck up!' James shouted across to Sirius whose legs were up on one of the sofa, his head hanging lazily off the edge of the arm of the misused piece of furniture.  'You're playing, we're missing a beater on that blasted fieldtrip.' 

Sirius was an excellent beater but generally didn't give in to such team sports that required exercise regimes and organized cooperation.  But for James, he nonchalantly dropped off the sofa and summoned his broom.  Catching the Quidditch robes tossed at him, he winced at the rather garish red he didn't suppose complimented his skin tone one bit.  _But then again perhaps it would…_

'Sirius!  We're leaving now idiot!' James shouted from the portrait hole and Sirius hurried to catch up, breaking from his musings. 

Remus, Sirius and James led the straggling Quidditch players out towards the changing rooms and quickly spotted Lily and a friend quickly walking up ahead towards the pitch.  James' eyes almost immediately narrowed in suspiciously on the Gryffindor scarf wrapped tightly round her neck.  He caught up with the two brisk walkers quickly and demanded,

'Hey Evans, take off your scarf.' 

She looked at him, taken aback at his surprise question and worried however she replied without much delay and with normal venom, 'No!'

His eyes widened at what this could possibly indicate and was about to ask again but was called back by the team to go into the changing rooms. With exasperation he shrugged his hands in the air and ran back to join them brooding furiously.  Remus waved goodbye to them and wished them good luck with a conspiratorial wink at James whom had _not_ forgotten his task despite the excitement of Padfoot's discovery that morning. 

When the team traipsed to the field they emerged to a great hero-cheer from the Gryffindors (and a few stray Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws who would never have supported Slytherin) and a low hissing from the Slytherin crowd.  The Slytherin team then entered the stadium, the cheering from the banks of snakes just as enthusiastic and the hissing from the opposite side just as powerful.

They were a brutish lot the Slytherins, whom had seemed to grasp all of the rules _apart_ from the rules involving fouling and blatantly hitting other players with their fists or broomsticks.  This was much to the despair of Madame Beech, the Quidditch coach and referee and she told both teams to 'play safe' with little expectation that they would. 

Sirius turned his head up from inspecting the twigs on his broom to catch sight of James gawking at one of the Slytherin players.  Hesitantly, he also looked in that direction and nearly dropped his broom there and then to see Snape (Snivellus!) wearing the keeper robes and sneering back at them.

This would definitely explain what had seemed at the time as a sacrifice for his house.  No, no- this was for personal gain. 

'Killed off the ordinary keeper, I'd say,' Sirius whispered into James' ear.  Sirius glanced over to where Remus and Lily were standing just behind the young yet severe Professor of Transfiguration recently joined wearing her normal high-necked, tartan robes and they couldn't yet see Snape's new position on the field.

The whistle blew and both teams launched off the ground and the red blur of the Quaffle flew past them, upwards in to the blue.

**A/N: Thank you again for reading; I hope this chapter was up to standard. I personally like the James, Sirius and Remus interaction at the beginning hehe, I had fun writing that for sure .**

**Review to:**

**(a.) ****Witness the unveiling and embarrassing situation of the SnapeForestGirl debacle,**

**(b.) ****Find out what exactly happened to the ordinary Slytherin keeper,**

**(c.) ****See the Quidditch match: James' nifty chaser action and Sirius' unpicky Beater skills (you'll find ouuuut! )**

**(d.) ****Find out if James goes against his promise,**

**(e.) ****See whether Snape is in fact a good keeper,**

**(f.) ****Earn my undying affection and love (tee hee…)**

**(g.) ****Umm, sorry I'm lame, can't think of any more,**

**(h.) ****Tum**** tee tum…**

**(i.) ****Chocolate?**

**whispers in lulling voice You neeeeeed to press it…press the review button…..**


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